The most difficult part about making decisions is that we often have to make them in light of what isn’t yet the case. We need to trade something that we know and are familiar with for something that we do not know.
My decision to leave a Ph.D. program was based on my hope that things could be otherwise outside of grad school. I knew how I felt in a Ph.D. program–stressed, overwhelmed, lonely, financially broke–and, although I was hoping for a different set of circumstances for myself, I had no way of knowing I would actually be able to achieve them once I left academia. I imagined that I would be able to get a non-academic job, that I would be able to support myself as I moved across the country and started a life in a new city, that I would be able to find meaning in non-academic projects and pursuits. I wanted all of those things to be true, but, at the time of committing myself to them, I had no way of knowing how they would actually turn out. And this is the most difficult thing about making decisions.
I am soon to move across the country again and I find myself leaving many of the now known and familiar things behind for other possibilities: imaginary possibilities that are not yet known. As I reflect on this uncertain time, I realize that this is also the exciting place where most of our growth and learning happen.
When we make a decision to follow the unknown, less comfortable path and follow through with it, we are fulfilled in the most satisfying way. We learn that we can trust ourselves to bring into reality things we used to be able to only imagine. We learn to trust ourselves to be able to leap into an unknown and make that space into a setting of comfort and familiarity.
Life is filled with unknowns and learning to trust ourselves in unfamiliar situations makes us better at life. Wouldn’t it be great if we allowed ourselves these kinds of experience more often to stimulate personal development and growth?
What are your unknowns today? Is it starting a business? Making a career change? Taking up running? Building your first website?
Are there things you would like to do but feel afraid to start because you know nothing about them? If so, you are in a very special place. This is the place of opportunity where growth and learning begin. Allow yourself to get started on an unfamiliar new project and see how much you can learn. You will gain confidence and will be able to trust yourself more in the future. Here’s to making more decisions to leap into the unknown!
